Reflections

It’s been a long time since I last wrote, but I figure that late is better than never…

The reason I haven’t written much is that I’ve been busy. Other K students who have studied abroad in Ecuador told me before I came that school would be a piece of cake, but I’m not finding that to be the case. It’s been hard to get used to taking seven classes instead of three, especially because I somehow managed to sign up for classes that have a pretty substantial workload. Basically, school has been much more a part of the equation than I anticipated.

I know, I know—study abroad is about letting go, learning to chill out, putting school on the back burner and having other fun/enriching experiences, etc. I’m supposed to come back a new, vibrant, liberated, enlightened, carefree person, and I’m not going to accomplish that if I’m doing homework all the time. That’s according to the master narrative about what study abroad is/isn’t supposed to be, anyway…

Then again, I don’t know how much I believe in the master narrative. There’s so much pressure to change in big, important ways on study abroad, and I’m starting to find that that may not be realistic. Study abroad isn’t a break from reality, but rather an extension of it, and living in a new place doesn’t automatically make me a new person. I am certainly becoming more aware of myself—my tendencies and habits, my likes and dislikes, how I respond to certain situations, how I see the world—but I can’t just abandon everything that has been central to who I am…nor do I necessarily want to. It seems to me that change is secondary to self-reflection; the important thing is that I’m starting to see more clearly that I operate in a certain way, that my way of doing things is one way among many, that people will not always agree with how I choose to live my life, and most importantly, that that’s ok.

That said, I have had a lot of awesome experiences recently that I’m looking forward to writing about, so look for new entries in the near future!

Hope all is well with you, wherever you are…