Today’s lesson is brought to you by the long “a” sound (or the “e” sound en español): Loosening the reigns has its gains

I haven’t felt this good in weeks. Although everything I said in my last entry still stands, there’s something to be said for forgetting about school for a night and just sitting down and talking with people.

Today in weaving, my friend Lily asked me if I wanted to hang out in Quito after school until later in the evening, when she was supposed to meet up with her boyfriend. I don’t know Lily super well, but the few times we have hung out have been a blast (we went to an art gallery opening a few weeks ago, and last weekend we went to a café with a breathtaking view—more details to come). I had already decided to spend the night reading and starting a research paper for one of my classes, but seeing as I’d been wanting to get to know Lily better, I decided to cut myself some slack and let my academic agenda take the back seat for the night.

We started dinner around 7:00. Normally dinner on school nights doesn’t last much more than 15 minutes since we’re all pretty tired and have a long night of homework to look forward to, but tonight my host mom, Emilio, Yandira, Lily and I sat around talking (and joking—my Spanish puns are improving considerably!) until at least 7:30. Emilio and Yandira excused themselves to do homework, but the rest of us stuck around to have cafecíto.

Somehow we got to talking about my host mom’s job (she’s the director of a foundation that, among other things, gives micro loans to women so they can start their own small businesses) and what Lily and I want to do with the rest of our lives. We talked about various kinds of development projects, the factors that make some succeed and others fail, the challenges that NGOs face in being accountable to their users, and other related issues. An hour and a few too many cups of coffee later, my host mom excused herself to get some work done. Our trio was down to two.

Lily and I kept talking (in Spanish—we had reverted back to English but switched back because there were too many long, confused pauses and awkward reverse translations…score!). When she eventually had to take off, I looked at the clock and realized that we’d been talking for two and a half hours. It was awesome because through talking about very concrete things that have been happening in our lives, we hit on a lot the intangible and confounding themes that have been my mind recently.

For example, Lily was telling me about a potential internship with a fair trade clothing company in California, and she raised the question of whether the company should pay Ecuadorian artisans a “fair price” (by U.S. standards) of $8-10 for a scarf when scarves go for around $2.50 here, which is enough for the artisans to meet their “basic needs.” This led to the question of what constitutes “basic needs” and who defines them, as well as how globalization has transformed/homogenized how people from disparate locations, cultures, and conditions understand the concept of “needs.”

Later we got on the subject of volunteerism vs. charity vs. service learning. This theme has been at the forefront of my mind since reading a rather in-your-face article a few weeks back (“To Hell with Good Intentions” by Ivan Illich—I highly recommend it to anyone who acts out of good intentions and is looking for a good intellectual/emotional challenge, an exercise in being open in the face of criticism, a wake up call, a reason to get temporarily pissed, etc.). As we were talking through some of these ideas and how they apply to our majors, our activities in Ecuador, our future plans, etc. I dug out a sermon (“Charity as Medicine: Who Does it Help?”) written by my externship host from two summers ago, David Mesenbring. It is one of the most insightful pieces of writing on this subject that I’ve ever read, and it took on new significance in light of our present conversation. Although we didn’t come to any earth-shattering conclusions, we had a really energetic/reflective conversation and discovered that we have a lot in common.

I’m really pumped about the night (if you haven’t already guessed…). I feel I’ve found a good friend in Lily, which is great because she’s staying the whole year, and I also feel that I’m coming back to life. I’m starting to realize that school is good when it inspires and satisfies my curiosity, but not when it precludes these kinds of experiences that remind me that I’m an interested/interesting human being and not a machine. The trick will be remembering this as the final exams/papers that are still looming in the future start to draw near, but I think I’m up to the challenge.